The Top Ten Secrets Highly Successful People Know That You May Not
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Secret #3:  You are Much Greater Than the Roles You Play

We all label ourselves in some way. We call ourselves mother, manager, CEO, husband, daughter, son, driver, amiable and so goes an endless list of parts we play. So also goes a list of never ending obligations that go with these roles. When we do not follow these role obligations, we may experience guilt. We may even stop ourselves from moving forward in order to respect the way we are “supposed” to behave in a certain role.

How are the roles you adhere to limiting the way you see yourself and in so doing, limiting your capacity for success? What if you want to start your own business, or move to a higher position? You know that you have the desire, skills and abilities, BUT are fearful, or concerned that it may take too much time away from the family. Although, spending time with family is a high priority for most people, have you ever asked yourself what it is that your family really needs? Is it more important to inspire your children to shoot for their dreams, to live their purpose, and to fully and utterly express the magnitude of who they are than to transfer unconscious, outdated ideals? Most of the roles we play are too small for who we really are and cause anxiety and depression to emerge as we thwart our greatest expression of self. I had a client who was holding herself back from her dreams because of perceived family obligations. After identifying and clearing her internal obstacles, looking at her current opportunities, and implementing a plan, we were able to create a lifestyle change. My client is healthier, happier, making more money and has the flexibility to be with her child more often.

What does it mean to be greater than the roles you play? It means that beyond the roles there is a place that is so uniquely and exquisitely you that everything else is defined by that rather than the roles defining you. It means to live from a place of deep passion and purpose. It is a place of honoring your distinct life’s path and that which brings you the greatest joy. It is about being more committed to your purpose than your roles. It is saying that I am not this or that, but rather, I am open and adaptable to the moment and all of its potentials and choices. It is a place where one becomes the creator of life instead of the reactor to life.

I have learned a lot from living my passion. I have become more authentically me and less defined by others expectations. It has balanced my moods, given me courage, confidence, inspiration, freedom, and self respect. I have discovered that when I am satisfied, and that when I feel fulfilled, I am more fully present. Being able to be fully present has deepened my relationship with my family and my clients and has led to greater success in all areas. Even work life balance has become constricting terminology, as well as, one more obligation. Most people spend more time working than with family. The question is, are you really present when you are with your family and coworkers? Or are you drained, resentful, wishing for more freedom, and dreading the upcoming day? All of this stands in the way of presence, passion and thus true success. I have a coach/ training company. It is not work. It is my passion. It gives me energy. It keeps me growing and constantly learning. I wake up and look forward to the day. My children know that it is possible to make a living doing what they love. Move beyond roles and into passion, inspired work, presence, connection and love. Success will be the outcome.

In what ways are your roles limiting you? Who are you beyond these roles? That is the real question. Why are you here? What did you come to do? Are you doing it? What do you love to do more than anything? Move beyond roles to your higher purpose. This will energize you, illuminate you and bring you increasing success.

Designs To Grow offers Personal Development Programs that will add value to your self, your team and your organization. For more information, contact Lynn at 215-504-9188 or at lynn@designstogrow.com. For more information on Designs To Grow, go to www.designstogrow.com.

Ask the Coach:

I would really like to become a better listener and communicator in my day to day relationships. Any suggestions?

I once heard a quote that said something to the effect that people’s need to be heard is equivalent to their need to breathe. I believe this is so. Meeting people’s need to be heard is a huge step in sharpening your communication skills, as well as, your leadership skills. Quite often, we are already thinking of our response before we have fully listened to what the other person has said. My advice would be to stay in the moment, listen with no personal agenda, and acknowledge to the person what you heard them say. Be curious and sincere and your relationships will deepen.

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